Dear Elyse,
After the Hurricane, I contracted a friend to do some repairs on my house. He gave me a quote and then did some work. It took him far more time to do the work then I anticipated. Then he gave me a bill that was for more than what he quoted. What should I do now?
Yours,
Surprise Bill
Dear Surprise Bill,
Yikes! No one wants a surprise bill especially if its much more expensive than we anticipated. You shouldn't treat this situation any differently than if it were a random stranger who gave you a surprise bill. Make the money sucker justify such an increase. Remind them that they quoted you a lower number and ask them what factors contributed to the raise in price. Be careful to make sure that your tone is just an inquiring one not an accusatory one as a friend is more likely to take it personally if you accuse them of fraud. If you find it difficult to confront them, then send them a letter or an email.
Yours,
Elyse
My column
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Free access to hot dates
Dear Elyse,
I work as a recruiter. Sometimes, I look at the resumes on file and think that applicants would make a great mate. Is it ok for me to contact them for a date?
Yours,
Have My Hands on Hot Dates
Dear Have My Hands on Hot Dates,
Sure- give all these random hotties a call. In fact, bombard them with daily emails of pictures of yourself, and even stop by their house with flowers. Okay, I hope you have enough intelligence not to take this advice seriously. No, it is not advisable to pursue these people on a date. Would you like it if you signed up a newsletter on pet advice and then received a credit card? This is a similar scenario. These recruits didn't sign up to find a soulmate, they signed up to find a job. You don't even know if they are single. And by the way-what about their resume makes you think that they would be a good mate? I didn't realize that a degree from x university or a certificate in x skill makes for a soulmate. Nothing in a resume hints at someone's inner traits which is what we should be looking for in a mate.
However, if you are so inclined to use your job for locating suitable dates, you can under these circumstances. If you interview someone for a job because you intended to interview them ( they were suitable for the position you were recruiting for), you may pursue them after they have been placed in a job. Otherwise, it will look like there was favoritism involved and you may loose your position. And then you may end up dateless and jobless. Good luck with your search for a date.
Yours,
Elyse.
I work as a recruiter. Sometimes, I look at the resumes on file and think that applicants would make a great mate. Is it ok for me to contact them for a date?
Yours,
Have My Hands on Hot Dates
Dear Have My Hands on Hot Dates,
Sure- give all these random hotties a call. In fact, bombard them with daily emails of pictures of yourself, and even stop by their house with flowers. Okay, I hope you have enough intelligence not to take this advice seriously. No, it is not advisable to pursue these people on a date. Would you like it if you signed up a newsletter on pet advice and then received a credit card? This is a similar scenario. These recruits didn't sign up to find a soulmate, they signed up to find a job. You don't even know if they are single. And by the way-what about their resume makes you think that they would be a good mate? I didn't realize that a degree from x university or a certificate in x skill makes for a soulmate. Nothing in a resume hints at someone's inner traits which is what we should be looking for in a mate.
However, if you are so inclined to use your job for locating suitable dates, you can under these circumstances. If you interview someone for a job because you intended to interview them ( they were suitable for the position you were recruiting for), you may pursue them after they have been placed in a job. Otherwise, it will look like there was favoritism involved and you may loose your position. And then you may end up dateless and jobless. Good luck with your search for a date.
Yours,
Elyse.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Sexless
This quote was sent in from one of our readers. Let's keep the letters coming!
Dear Elyse,
I am with a 22 year old and my gf is 18. She refuses to have sex with me When I try to put it in, she freaks out. What can I do to get her to have sex with me?
Yours,
Dying sexless
Dear Dying Sexless,
You have a couple of options. One you can hypnotize your girlfriend into having sex with you. You can also sedate her and then have sex with her. Of course, if you want the relationship to continue I wouldn't recommend these tactics. Instead, i recommend asking your girlfriend how the first time having sex would be comfortable. I would also tell her about rewarding sex can be!
Yours,
Elyse
Dear Elyse,
I am with a 22 year old and my gf is 18. She refuses to have sex with me When I try to put it in, she freaks out. What can I do to get her to have sex with me?
Yours,
Dying sexless
Dear Dying Sexless,
You have a couple of options. One you can hypnotize your girlfriend into having sex with you. You can also sedate her and then have sex with her. Of course, if you want the relationship to continue I wouldn't recommend these tactics. Instead, i recommend asking your girlfriend how the first time having sex would be comfortable. I would also tell her about rewarding sex can be!
Yours,
Elyse
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Clueless Boyfriend
Dear Elyse,
My boyfriend refuses to buy condoms. He says they are too expensive. I don't have health insurance so I can't get birth control pills. My boyfriend says that if we both orgasm then I can't become pregnant. Please help!!!
Yours,
Bound to become pregnant against my own will.
Dear Bound to become pregnant,
I had to read your letter twice because I was in such shock. Your boyfriend thinks condoms are too expensive? Has he considered the cost of raising a child? Also the idea that if both of you orgasm-you can't get pregnant is more ridiculous than the flakiest of all old wives tales. I think that your boyfriend is trying to knock you up so that he can tie you down or have an excuse to boot! I suggest that you find a child and bring the child everywhere you go with your boyfriend to demonstrate the difficulty of raising a child. Purposely pick an obstreperous and testy child.
Yours,
Elyse
My boyfriend refuses to buy condoms. He says they are too expensive. I don't have health insurance so I can't get birth control pills. My boyfriend says that if we both orgasm then I can't become pregnant. Please help!!!
Yours,
Bound to become pregnant against my own will.
Dear Bound to become pregnant,
I had to read your letter twice because I was in such shock. Your boyfriend thinks condoms are too expensive? Has he considered the cost of raising a child? Also the idea that if both of you orgasm-you can't get pregnant is more ridiculous than the flakiest of all old wives tales. I think that your boyfriend is trying to knock you up so that he can tie you down or have an excuse to boot! I suggest that you find a child and bring the child everywhere you go with your boyfriend to demonstrate the difficulty of raising a child. Purposely pick an obstreperous and testy child.
Yours,
Elyse
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Conned by internet date
Dear Elyse,
I started dating a guy I met over the internet. I found out that he lied about his name, his age, and his job. I feel like a fool! He apologized and gave me his true statistics and bought me a scrumptious dinner. Should I give him a second chance?
Yours,
Conned by e-dating
Dear Conned by e-dating,
This is one instance where I feel very strongly about the issue. You should not give him a second chance. Why do people feel the need to lie? Because they are playing games with you. They are testing how much they can get away with. Why not let him lie about where is taking you for dessert and perhaps you'll find yourself in a ditch or being sold into slavery? Game gets game and real gets real. If you continue to see him , you'll show him that you aren't ready to receive the real him and are satisfied with games. Then, the best your relationship will be is a series of head games. Trust me. Find yourself a real guy.
Yours,
Elyse
I started dating a guy I met over the internet. I found out that he lied about his name, his age, and his job. I feel like a fool! He apologized and gave me his true statistics and bought me a scrumptious dinner. Should I give him a second chance?
Yours,
Conned by e-dating
Dear Conned by e-dating,
This is one instance where I feel very strongly about the issue. You should not give him a second chance. Why do people feel the need to lie? Because they are playing games with you. They are testing how much they can get away with. Why not let him lie about where is taking you for dessert and perhaps you'll find yourself in a ditch or being sold into slavery? Game gets game and real gets real. If you continue to see him , you'll show him that you aren't ready to receive the real him and are satisfied with games. Then, the best your relationship will be is a series of head games. Trust me. Find yourself a real guy.
Yours,
Elyse
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Wealthy Scrouge or not?
Dear Elyse,
I am dating a guy who appears to be wealthy. He wears expensive makes of clothes and shoes and when speaking to him it is apparent that he has knowledge of the culture of the upper crust. He always mentions that he has been to all of these restaurants and vacation spots that only people with money go to. The first two times he paid for the date, but then the next two times he said he didn't have cash and needed me to treat. What the h*ll is going on? How could someone of this distinction not have money for dinner? Please explain?
Yours,
Wealthy Scrouge or not?
Dear Wealthy Scrouge or not,
Keep in mind that nothing I say is definite. It's just a hypothesis. I'd venture to say that you are dating a gigolo. A gigolo is someone who is funded by wealthy women in exchange for various favors ranging from simple errands to companion to sexual partner. Gigolos are set up in apartments, provided with clothes that are acceptable in the wealthy strata and generally appear to be wealthy but don't actually have much cash at hand. If you are prepared to help someone out, then go for it. Gigolos' generally are well trained in how to act and be companions as they need to be for survival. However, they aren't necessarily commitment oriented. Good luck! I will be doing a feature on gigolos next week.
Yours,
Elyse
I am dating a guy who appears to be wealthy. He wears expensive makes of clothes and shoes and when speaking to him it is apparent that he has knowledge of the culture of the upper crust. He always mentions that he has been to all of these restaurants and vacation spots that only people with money go to. The first two times he paid for the date, but then the next two times he said he didn't have cash and needed me to treat. What the h*ll is going on? How could someone of this distinction not have money for dinner? Please explain?
Yours,
Wealthy Scrouge or not?
Dear Wealthy Scrouge or not,
Keep in mind that nothing I say is definite. It's just a hypothesis. I'd venture to say that you are dating a gigolo. A gigolo is someone who is funded by wealthy women in exchange for various favors ranging from simple errands to companion to sexual partner. Gigolos are set up in apartments, provided with clothes that are acceptable in the wealthy strata and generally appear to be wealthy but don't actually have much cash at hand. If you are prepared to help someone out, then go for it. Gigolos' generally are well trained in how to act and be companions as they need to be for survival. However, they aren't necessarily commitment oriented. Good luck! I will be doing a feature on gigolos next week.
Yours,
Elyse
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Stripper in disguise
Dear Elyse,
I currently work as a stripper and I'm looking to date but I'm not sure how to broach the subject regarding my line of work. I am positive that most men will not to date me once I find out.
Yours,
Stripper in Disguise
Dear Stripper in Disguise,
Don't assume that all guys will automatically reject you simply because you are a stripper. Some men may find it a turn on to date a stripper. After all as a stripper you must know a lot of tricks. And your job after all is only one aspect of your personality. Be honest with your date, after all if you tell one lie, you have to back it up with more lies. Tell him you have aspirations of something bigger but right now this is what pays the rent. And remember there are worse ways of earning your keep than stripping.
Yours,
Elyse
I currently work as a stripper and I'm looking to date but I'm not sure how to broach the subject regarding my line of work. I am positive that most men will not to date me once I find out.
Yours,
Stripper in Disguise
Dear Stripper in Disguise,
Don't assume that all guys will automatically reject you simply because you are a stripper. Some men may find it a turn on to date a stripper. After all as a stripper you must know a lot of tricks. And your job after all is only one aspect of your personality. Be honest with your date, after all if you tell one lie, you have to back it up with more lies. Tell him you have aspirations of something bigger but right now this is what pays the rent. And remember there are worse ways of earning your keep than stripping.
Yours,
Elyse
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