Active Listening

Dear Elyse,
Whenever my boyfriend and I have conversations , he interrupts the conversations and either says that he doesn't want to hear my story and finds the story boring or he just jumps in and starts telling an anecdote of his own. I feel very frustrated by this.
Yours,
Seen but not heard

Dear Seen but not Heard,
How dare your boyfriend not listen to what you are saying? I recommend taping his mouth shut, stapling him to the seat and demanding that he listen to you. And don't forget to strip down to nothing when you do this and then it will be impossible for him not to agree to listen. Not. It sounds like you feel like your boyfriend not listening to you means that he doesn't care about you. This is a rational fear. However there may be other reasons that your boyfriend interrupts you. I would try to discern if there is a pattern to why your boyfriend doesn't listen to what you say and insists on dominating the conversation. Is it when you speak about a certain topic? Does he not know that much about that topic or find that topic uncomfortable to talk about? Is it because you don't include him in the conversation by asking what he thinks? Is it because he has something he wants to talk about that can't wait? Try over the next few weeks to discern the answers to these questions and see if by making adjustments you can improve the flow of conversation. Remember that good conversation is a two way street not just a monologue. If you find that the flow of conversation doesn't improve, confront your boyfriend. If you feel the urge to spit out a random diatribe, get a twitter account or talk to your cats.
Yours,
Elyse

Dear Elyse,
The other day I was eating in a classy restaurant trying to have an adult conversation with two of my friends when my thoughts were interrupted by a screaming child. The child's screaming persisted through the entire duration. I finally asked my waitress if this was appropriate for the restaurant and she concurred the it wasn't but refused to speak to the woman. This being a free country I went up to the woman and told her that she needed to keep her children under control or not eat at this restaurant. She responded by calling me a child hater and saying I didn't appreciate all that she was doing to manage her child. I feel like I am the bad guy for simply wanting a peaceful lunch. What is your take? What would have been the best way to approach it?
Yours,
Pained While Lunching

Dear Pained while lunching,
First let me state that I agree with you. People shouldn't bring children to fancy restaurants. In general if there are clothe handkerchiefs, then the restaurant is fit for adults only. I can also imagine your pain trying to enjoy your lunch with loud noises in the background. You were hoping for a relaxing afternoon and instead you got a tension-filled afternoon. However, the restaurant seating hostess is the one who makes the decision about who is allowed to eat in the restaurant, not you. They view it that everyone's money is equal and are thinking about their bottom line. Your objective was to have a peaceful lunch not to have a confrontation right? Next time, if you are in this predicament, ask your server if it is possible for you not to be seated near children.This way you avoid both being disturbed and getting into confrontation. Remember that even though you may have your beliefs about children eating in fancy restaurants it really isn't your duty to impose these beliefs on others. And also - who wants the extra gray hairs and wrinkles that results from getting angry?
Yours,
Elyse

Sexy text

Dear Elyse,
I'm looking to attract the attention of this one guy! What is a text message that is bound to catch his attention? Yours,
In need of a sexy text

Dear In need of a sexy text,
One thing I can tell you about men is that they are visual and action oriented and don't have the patience to read long messages. So write something concise about something you may plan to do for him or to him, or perhaps write about the sexy outfit you are wearing. You may want to do a few test runs on some of your guy friends! Good luck! Yours,
Elyse