Dear Elyse,
I'm currently married for the second time. My wife doesn't want our children to know that I have a child from my first marriage. I think that it is best to be honest with our kids. What is the best policy? How do I convince my wife that it is best for us to be honest with our kids?
Yours,
Honesty is Best
Dear Honesty is Best,
I concur that it is best to be honest with your kids. I think it would be quite disturbing for your kids to find out that they have a half brother/sister when they are twenty-one. I don't believe you can ever force someone to do something. However, I would try to assess where our wife's reservations to introduce your biological child stem from? Is it because she doesn't want you to have contact with your ex wife? Does she not want the kids to hear about divorce? Perhaps you should convince her that there is a way to present the idea of divorce to the kids in a child-centered, loving way.
Yours,
Elyse
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Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Need a commitment
Dear Elyse,
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We see each other twice a week and he calls me every night. I'd like to see him more often and talk to him about moving in together. I'd also like to meet his parents and have some assurance that we have a future together. However, every time I flirt with the topic, he just makes a face and changes the subject. Ditch or not?
Yours,
Ready to be committed if I don't get a commitment
Dear Ready to be Committed if I don't get a Commitment,
Here is my take charge plan of action for you. First of all, friend all of his relatives on Facebook and send them messages telling them that you are a wonderful person and want to be the mother of his children. Then, purchase tickets for Thanksgiving to visit his family and tell him that you thus have to attend the family holiday dinner. Also, siege his keys and make copies of the keys and tell him that you are moving in because your lease expired. Ok, I hope that (1) you don't implement this plan. (2) you don't report me to the stalking bureau. Now here is my grave, serious advice. You need to think about exactly how much of a commitment you would like. How long before your would like to move in with him? How long before you meet his relatives? Get married? Do you need a promise of marriage or just a lifelong commitment? Do you just want to see him more often? After you have thought about what you exactly need from him then decide what your non negotiable elements are and how you will respond if he refuses to give you these. Then, have an honest discussion with him where you tell him your request. It is important to frame the request in a non-threatening yet firm manner. Also, it is important to somehow work into the discussion how his making a commitment will benefit him. A lot of men haven't even thought about commitment and will not ever bring up the subject matter unless you initiate the discussion. Good luck!
Yours,
Elyse
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We see each other twice a week and he calls me every night. I'd like to see him more often and talk to him about moving in together. I'd also like to meet his parents and have some assurance that we have a future together. However, every time I flirt with the topic, he just makes a face and changes the subject. Ditch or not?
Yours,
Ready to be committed if I don't get a commitment
Dear Ready to be Committed if I don't get a Commitment,
Here is my take charge plan of action for you. First of all, friend all of his relatives on Facebook and send them messages telling them that you are a wonderful person and want to be the mother of his children. Then, purchase tickets for Thanksgiving to visit his family and tell him that you thus have to attend the family holiday dinner. Also, siege his keys and make copies of the keys and tell him that you are moving in because your lease expired. Ok, I hope that (1) you don't implement this plan. (2) you don't report me to the stalking bureau. Now here is my grave, serious advice. You need to think about exactly how much of a commitment you would like. How long before your would like to move in with him? How long before you meet his relatives? Get married? Do you need a promise of marriage or just a lifelong commitment? Do you just want to see him more often? After you have thought about what you exactly need from him then decide what your non negotiable elements are and how you will respond if he refuses to give you these. Then, have an honest discussion with him where you tell him your request. It is important to frame the request in a non-threatening yet firm manner. Also, it is important to somehow work into the discussion how his making a commitment will benefit him. A lot of men haven't even thought about commitment and will not ever bring up the subject matter unless you initiate the discussion. Good luck!
Yours,
Elyse
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