Communication

Dear Elyse,
My girlfriend never seems to want to have sex with me. Yet, the other night I found her pleasuring herself. Clearly she has some sexual desire. But not a desire for me? What am I doing wrong?
Yours,
Sexless

Dear Sexless,
May I suggest something totally radical: ask her what she wants. Perhaps she never wants to have sex with you because what you offer her doesn't satisfy her. Now, I'm not suggesting that you don't get what you want- I'm not a sadist or anything. But perhaps for now sex needs to be a two act play. Act one : her. Act two: you. Eventually you may be able to merge the two acts into one but for now stick with two acts.
Yours,
Elyse