Snow day humor

Snow day with a neurotic:
Have 5 different weather apps installed on your iPhone only to conclude that where you live is most phucked out of everywhere.
Examine the driveway for 30 minutes before deciding that the house is definitely going to crumble on you and shoveling will give you a heart attack but can I trust the neighborhood kid to shovel or is he on crack?
During commercials frantically change to channel 12 news and command everyone in the house to be quiet while you frantically also
Listen to an online report about the weather and print out the weather map prioritizing which friends you need to call to warn ( because they
don't have internet or anything)
Debate for an hour if your neighbor will snow blow for you and how much you should tip him.

Part 2 of Snow Day with a neurotic: get up and shovel a few inches of the snow and after consulting your heart rate monitor/ activity app on your phone decide you will indeed have a heart attack from the shoveling. Then consult the neighborhood list serv to determine if the high school kid is on crack, after careful consultation decide to let him shovel because the guy with a snow blower gave you a snotty look at the bus stop. Let the crack head shovel and invite him into your house for hot coco feeling guilty about your thoughts about him. After he leaves frantically search your house for stolen goods and do an intelius background search on the crackhead even though he didn't steal anything. Put channel 12 news on frantically watching for your kids school to be listed as a delay or closing. When it isn't listed search the district website and Facebook post about it praying school is cancelled.

Part 3: After you have checked every possible site to see that school is indeed open tomorrow, write a protest to the school district but then decide not to send it because you are afraid it might hurt your kids chances of getting a good rec. Plot out all possible routes to the bus stop on an iPhone app and determine which one is fastest. Look up frost bite on webmd and determine that your kids are bound to die while waiting for the bus. Realize you forgot to write a stolen goods report even though the crack head didn't take anything. Then panic because you realize you didn't check your medicine cabinet for stolen aspirin. Check medicine cabinet frantically even though your husband is screaming at you to help him put the kids to bed.