Controlling boyfriend

Dear Elyse,
My boyfriend has always been controlling but tolerable. Recently he demanded that I get fatter and not see my friends. I do not want to obey him but I don't want him to hurt me either. Your thoughts please!
Yours,
Being Held Captive

Dear Being Held Captive,
Am I mistaken or do we live in America? In some countries in the Middle East men may have the purview to control your body and your actions but in America that concept doesn't apply. I'm wondering what sort of restrictions did you find tolerable? I believe your boyfriend is so insecure he cannot stomach you spending any time with someone besides him. He wants you to be fatter so that other men won't fancy you ( even though we know that some men prefer heavier women) and he also doesn't want you spending time with friends because he fears that your friends will try to "steal" you away from him. While it may seem flattering that someone wants to spend so much time with you and be your boyfriend, I urge you to run for the hills. If you acquiesce to his request to plump up and end contact with your friends who knows what else he will ask you to do. Maybe quit your job? Maybe cut off contact with your family? If you let him know that he can control you, the level of control he asserts over you will magnify. I suggest that you tell him that you like your body the way it is now and you enjoy spending time with your friends, if you aren't able to enjoy these pleasures you won't be able to give to him the amount of care he deserves. Tell him you need to be your true self in order to be with him. If he is unable to comprehend this concept, then I suggest ending the relationship. You WILL find someone who will respect and let you live your true life.
Yours,
Elyse