Dear Elyse,
I went on a date with a guy. I'm in a vulnerable situation as I've gotten out of a painful, long-term relationship. The date started to heat up and then I realized that I felt absolutely nothing. I went along with it half heartedly and found that I was finally able to be turned on when I started to think of my ex and a former crush. I made ups lame excuse to get out of it. Now, I'm afraid to date again. What do I do when this happens again?
Yours,
Haunted by ghosts of dating past
Dear Haunted by ghosts of dating past,
You sound like you are uber- stressed out about this occurrence. As long as you didn't yell out your ex's name during the episode, I don't think you have done anything patently heinous. It is very normal to have a grieving period after a relationship comes to an end. If you still harbor some feelings for you ex, it is normal to think of your ex during carnal relations . And who doesn't- you did once love him, right? I suggest that anytime you find yourself in this predicament, you imagine the most appalling qualities of your ex and any images of him will quickly disappear. However, I also caution you to wait to date. As unthinkable as this sounds, there are other activities on earth besides dating like joining clubs , playing sports, and growing existing platonic friendships. As long as you don't spend all of your free time in a sugar-induced coma watching television, you will grow and gradually become more ready. When you intuition tells you that you are ready go for it. And remember if after one date you still find yourself in the same situation, just remember, its ok at any time to end the date, just tell the suitor you need to slow things down. That's it. Finale!
Yours,
Elyse
No comments:
Post a Comment