So glad that I gave Amy Sohn's Motherland a second chance. I'm loving it just as much as I craved Prospect Park West,its prequel. And its inspiring me to make my upcoming novel that much better.

A looksist is someone who is biased towards people with incredibly good looks.

Dear Elyse, I see all those common phrases on dating websites like match, jdate, etc. Family- oriented, love long walks on the beach, like to stay in and watch movies, want someone who has a history of prior relationships, love watching sports, done with the head games at bars . And I'm simply puzzled. What do all of these phrases really mean? They are so vague. Thanks for your insight. Confused Online Dater Dear Confused Online Dater, First of all,congratulations on being willing to put yourself out there and find love! Love is like the lottery you can't win it if you aren't in it! If you are seriously trying to meet someone thru a dating site, I would encourage you to arrange a meet up quickly in a public place to avoid perpetual emailers who are really grandpas living 500 miles away from you. Now here is a brief online dating dictionary. Remember this is just my opinion. Long walks on the beach: doesn't like to spend money on a real date. Likes watching sports: a man's man. Likes watching movies: has one thing on his mind and we know what that one thing is. Family-oriented: wants to get married really fast. Wants someone with a history long-lasting relationships: has baggage. Athletic: rough and tough in the sack. Career oriented: works a lot, enjoy your freedom with this one. Creative career: unemployed. Tired of the bar scene and the head games: hasn't had any luck with women because he is a social klutz. Fashion savvy: gay. Likes going to museums: pseudo intellectual. Likes wine: alcoholic. And finally the real kicker. Likes the finer things in life: stupid. Really? Becase the rest of us like crap. Remember this is just my opinion. When looking for a guy, I would encourage you to ask questions if you need clarification and also look for someone who has similar values, ethics, and humor to you rather than someone who has similar interests. Similar interests is just a bonus.

Dear Elyse, I'm not sure what to make of this situation. I was first emailing and IMing back and fourth with this amazing guy. It felt like we were so connected and he was the guy I had been waiting for all my life. Unlike other guys, he was quick to declare his love and affection for me. We finally went on a date and he confessed that he was crazy about me. After that we were inseparable. Every night I either stayed at his place or he stayed at my place and we made holiday plans to meet the families. He was so refreshing from the other guys who took years to do what he did. Then a week or so ago, he just stopped called, emailing or IMing me. I've tried to contact him but he doesn't respond. What happened? Yours truly, Shell- Shocked. Dear Shell Shocked, First of all I would like to commend you for being ready to welcome love into your life. It takes a lot of courage to allow this thing called love to work. Also, I'm sorry for your loss, it really sounds like you had high hopes for this guy. Now here is the 411 on guys that I'll call Whimsical Guys. There are guys who constantly are jumping into many new arenas whether it be a project, a relationship, a trip,etc. These guys like to believe that every element of life has potential for being the next best thing. Unfortunately, they constantly change their mind about what is the next best thing. In essence, your guy picked you and really did believe that you were The One but then suddenly something ticked in his mind and he changed his opinion. Here are some clear signs of Whimsical Guys for future reference. (1) They are very quick to declare their love and affection for you but they don't have clear or explicable reasons why they feel so in love with you. Clear and explicable reasons could include a love for your humor, a love for how you are so caring, etc. Instead they make vague statements like I'm crazy about you or you are so hot, you are one of the coolest girls I've ever met without any evidence backing up these statements. (2) They send you many emails a day and are on rapid response mode yet the emails contain mostly content about themselves or vague statements abut you yet the emails don't ever seem to ask probing questions about your life or reveal the guys deepest feelings. (3) The guys are eager to make plans with you yet sometimes they might not follow through with the plans. Hope this helps and that you either work things out with this guy or find another guy that you love. You are fabulous. Elyse

Dear Elyse, I am an accomplished, very attractive female. I'm very outgoing and caring but fellow females don't seem to realize this about me. I constantly see girls giving me dirty looks even when they don't know me and they always exclude me. I think they are blaming me for being attractive. What should I do to get them to realize that I'm not vicious just because I'm hot? Sincerely Hot but Sweet My answer to this advice column: Dear Hot and Sweet, Women can be hostile to uber attractive females like yourself ( trust me I know I'm 5'9" a size 2 and have DD cups. And by the way, congrats. Embrace your hotness. The core reason women are hostile to UAs is that they fear you will steal their husband, boyfriend or crush. The best way to convert adversaries into allies is to humanize yourself. Let them know that even though you have gorgeous locks sometimes your hair has a mind of its own and looks like a frizz bomb. Or that even though you have endless legs sometimes you trip over your own feet. By humanizing yourself it will make you easy to relate to and less threatening. They'll know that you understand them, love them and aren't out to steal their main man/ love of their life.

recently started seeing a guy who I’m wild about. He’s everything I’ve always wanted: sexy, young, brilliant, spirited, caring and more. The first time we had sex, he used a condom. However, this time, I noticed that he didn’t use a condom. I’m wondering what that means in terms of the status of our relationship? Does it mean we are monogamous? I don’t usually require monogamy for sex but I’m quite intrigued with this man and wonder what that means? He doesn’t seem like a sloppy kind of guy who would just forget to use one. Yours Truly, Condomless Here is my response to the advice column. Dear Condomless, Here are some reasons he didn't use a condom. (1) He feels awkward using condoms and thinks he can't reach orgasm if he doesn't use a condom. (2) He can't afford to buy a condom-which seems unlikely. (3) He figures you are too old to get pregnant. (4) He figures using a condom makes love making less spontaneous and he loves that spontaneity. (5) He sees you as a clean cut woman and figures he can't get an STD. Either way- this is just my opinion and if this guy matters to you and you are curious about where you stand with him- you should ask him.

Dear Elyse, I'm living in NYC and my girlfriend lives in Texas. I go out a lot because of my job at the W Hotel and because I'm an actor and looking to network. My girlfriend is getting on to me about this and wants me to stop. She's the opposite of me a real homebody- who owns her own business. I'm also her first real relationship and she's 38. What should I do? I want to keep her but I also want to continue with my active social life? She's threatening to move up here and I"m dreading the day. Scared Boyfriend Dear Scared Boyfriend, It sounds like you really value your time to yourself and being your own person apart from your girlfriend. Congratulations! Bravo! You need to address your need to have a balance of time with your girlfriend and time yourself with you girlfriend. You need to frame it in such a way that your girlfriend sees how it will benefit her and the relationship. Good luck! Elyse Bradshaw Seinfeld

Dear Elyse, I'm dating a guy and I really like him. I had really high hopes for us until we kissed. He was the worst kisser- he stuck his tongue down my throat as far as my esophagus and bit me. Otherwise, i'm crazy about him. Should I give about on yucky kisser boy. Yours, Disgusted. Dear Disgusted, This advice may sound radical. I am urging you to discuss your kissing preferences with your hottie. Despite rumors and myths, men aren't mind readers and they don't often know when you are appalled by something. Of course , do it tactfully. You can even make it into a game called lets kiss and show. Be very specific on what you like in a kiss. A guy will actually respect a woman more if she shows that she cares about herself. Good luck with your dream -1 man. And remember no guy can meet every item on our check list. Elyse