Clueless Boyfriend

Dear Elyse,
My boyfriend refuses to buy condoms. He says they are too expensive. I don't have health insurance so I can't get birth control pills. My boyfriend says that if we both orgasm then I can't become pregnant. Please help!!!
Yours,
Bound to become pregnant against my own will.

Dear Bound to become pregnant,
I had to read your letter twice because I was in such shock. Your boyfriend thinks condoms are too expensive? Has he considered the cost of raising a child? Also the idea that if both of you orgasm-you can't get pregnant is more ridiculous than the flakiest of all old wives tales. I think that your boyfriend is trying to knock you up so that he can tie you down or have an excuse to boot! I suggest that you find a child and bring the child everywhere you go with your boyfriend to demonstrate the difficulty of raising a child. Purposely pick an obstreperous and testy child.
Yours,
Elyse

Conned by internet date

Dear Elyse,
I started dating a guy I met over the internet. I found out that he lied about his name, his age, and his job. I feel like a fool! He apologized and gave me his true statistics and bought me a scrumptious dinner. Should I give him a second chance?
Yours,
Conned by e-dating

Dear Conned by e-dating,
This is one instance where I feel very strongly about the issue. You should not give him a second chance. Why do people feel the need to lie? Because they are playing games with you. They are testing how much they can get away with. Why not let him lie about where is taking you for dessert and perhaps you'll find yourself in a ditch or being sold into slavery? Game gets game and real gets real. If you continue to see him , you'll show him that you aren't ready to receive the real him and are satisfied with games. Then, the best your relationship will be is a series of head games. Trust me. Find yourself a real guy.
Yours,
Elyse

Wealthy Scrouge or not?

Dear Elyse,
I am dating a guy who appears to be wealthy. He wears expensive makes of clothes and shoes and when speaking to him it is apparent that he has knowledge of the culture of the upper crust. He always mentions that he has been to all of these restaurants and vacation spots that only people with money go to. The first two times he paid for the date, but then the next two times he said he didn't have cash and needed me to treat. What the h*ll is going on? How could someone of this distinction not have money for dinner? Please explain?
Yours,
Wealthy Scrouge or not?

Dear Wealthy Scrouge or not,
Keep in mind that nothing I say is definite. It's just a hypothesis. I'd venture to say that you are dating a gigolo. A gigolo is someone who is funded by wealthy women in exchange for various favors ranging from simple errands to companion to sexual partner. Gigolos are set up in apartments, provided with clothes that are acceptable in the wealthy strata and generally appear to be wealthy but don't actually have much cash at hand. If you are prepared to help someone out, then go for it. Gigolos' generally are well trained in how to act and be companions as they need to be for survival. However, they aren't necessarily commitment oriented. Good luck! I will be doing a feature on gigolos next week.
Yours,
Elyse

Stripper in disguise

Dear Elyse,
I currently work as a stripper and I'm looking to date but I'm not sure how to broach the subject regarding my line of work. I am positive that most men will not to date me once I find out.
Yours,
Stripper in Disguise

Dear Stripper in Disguise,
Don't assume that all guys will automatically reject you simply because you are a stripper. Some men may find it a turn on to date a stripper. After all as a stripper you must know a lot of tricks. And your job after all is only one aspect of your personality. Be honest with your date, after all if you tell one lie, you have to back it up with more lies. Tell him you have aspirations of something bigger but right now this is what pays the rent. And remember there are worse ways of earning your keep than stripping.
Yours,
Elyse

Older women, younger men

Dear Elyse,
I am 45 years old and single. I have a penchant for dating much younger men.[The last two long term relationships I had were with men nearly 20 years younger than me and the relationship before that was with a man 9 years younger than me. All of my girlfriends are urging me to try dating men closer to my age or older than me. Who should I date?
Yours,
Craddle Robber



Dear Craddle Robber,
First of all, I would like to commend you for being a pioneer and not being afraid of how others may judge you for your partners. Kudos! Ultimately, it is all about you satisfying your needs. There is no point in having a relationship if you don't gain anything from it. I can see why one might prefer younger men. Younger men are less set in their ways and aren't bogged down with baggage. They still operate in the "I'm up for anything mode." However, younger men are less likely to be financially stable and more likely to ultimately want kids say that its up to yo Instead of considering age consider finding someone who uplifts you, motivates you, and would take a bullet for you.If your friends pester you about your choice of a mate tell them gee would you rather me be with someone who just frustrated me and then have to serve as my therapist day in and day out?
Yours,
Elyse

Overly talkative mom

Dear Elyse, I recently started dating a guy that I'm crazy about and I see a future with him. I'd like him to meet my parents but my mom has the habit of divulging information she knows about people she's never met. Some people have been shocked that she knows so much about them. How can I stop my mom from saying too much? Yours , Mom with no filter

Dear Mom with no filter, I suppose you could wait until you have a ring on your finger or even better wait until your wedding night before you introduce your beau to your mom. Or ... You could always star the conversation back to your mom when she starts to ask your suitors questions. Bounce questions at your mom or talk about some new things in your life to minimize conversation. Also- so your mom is somewhat satisfied and learns a few tidbits about your boyfriend make sure you ask your boyfriend questions before your mom gets to him and make sure it is topics your boyfriend is comfortable talking about. Yours, Elyse

Can't stomach a compliment

Dear Elyse,
I always find myself flinching when guys I'm dating give me a compliment or are accepting of me! In fact - I start liking them less for this. Help! There must be something seriously wrong with me? What girl wouldn't want to receive compliments? Yours, Fleeing at the first sign of affection

Dear Fleeing at the first sign of affection,
Oh no! Perhaps you have horns growing on your head and that's why you can't stomach compliments! Just kidding ! Sometimes it is disconcerting to receive compliments from men. This feeling of uneasiness stems from deception and honesty. Part of it may be that you don't actually believe that what the guy is saying about you is true and worry that he may discover that you aren't the X great quality that he seems to think you are and then flee. You may also be concerned that the guy is telling you what you may want to hear just to get you into the sack. Try to assess which scenario applies. If it is the first scenario- I would just go with the flow and allow the compliments to keep coming. Remember we are our own worst critic! If you believe that the second scenario pertains to you, I would run for the hills! If he's telling you lies to get you into bed, you can hardly imagine what he'll do next. Besides, this isn't 1952, you don't really need to lie to get women to go bed with you anymore . Yours, Elyse