Over worked mom

Dear Elyse,
I am a 36 year-old mom with three kids under the age of ten. I opted to work as a lawyer, part time, from home since my husband works very long hours ( he owns three companies). I have tried hiring different babysitters so that I can work while the kids are at home but most of the sitters have been lazy good for nothings who overcharge (since when do college students get paid $35 per hour). To say that I am overwhelmed is an understatement. My relationship with my husband has suffered, we almost never have sex and we haven't been on a date in months. Short of cloning myself or turning myself off for the day ( where's the off switch in humans) or renting a studio just for myself to disappear to, I have no clue how to make my life less stressful and have a more satisfying relationship with my husband. Please help!
Yours,
Overworked and undersexed.

Dear Overworked and Undersexed,
It sounds like you are striving to achieve all: a great husband, happy children, and a stellar career. Which is reasonable - who doesn't want all those three things? Why don't you also try to be a world class athlete ( jk). Good for you for looking out for yourself and going after what you desire. However, it seems like that you are not receiving the assistance needed so that you can achieve in all three aspects of your life: kids, career, and husband. In order to alleviate the situation you need to speak to all of the parties involved and be direct with them. Tell them what you need. Lets address all three. First off, do not give up on babysitters. There are good babysitters out there- you just have to look. I would recommend going to an agency, when you meet with the representative. Be very specific about what you are looking for in a babysitter. Then, let your babysitter know your expectations. Let the kids and the babysitter know that even though you are at home you aren't available. I would suggest also working in a place where they don't want to go like your dank basement. In addition, to enforce that you aren't available, when they ask you for something simply tell them that you are working rather than giving into their request ( of course there are exceptions). Also, tell the kids that if they interrupt you, it will take you longer to finish your work and then they have less the with you. Make sure that when you aren't working, you spend quality time with the kids. With your husband, I would recommend telling him that you so miss his company and would like to spend more time with him. Also make sure that you tell him how it will benefit him to spend time with you as this will motivate him. Think of an incentive. Acknowledge that you know he is busy but you feel it would help both of you become more productive if you had at least one date a week without the kids. Finally, with your career, its all about being efficient and making the most of your time. Set the timer and don't allow yourself to work beyond a certain point ( this will force you to focus more on your work and less on distractions). When I played Division I tennis I always found my grades were higher during the season than in the off season because I made the most of my time knowing that I had very little of it. Two recommended readings I can suggest are Lysss Stern, If you give a mom a martini, which suggests different ways you can make the most of the few precious moments you have to yourself and Tim Farris', The four hour work week which helps you decide which tasks are important for you to do and suggests you delegate the rest. Best of luck and keep rocking.
Yours,
Elyse